It’s not culture, stupid. It’s also not your ape genes driving you to have sex with everything in sight. Think harder.
It’s that girl who made you so ashamed in middle school that you never got over it. It’s your mom never hugging you when you were growing up. It’s your dad smacking you in the face when you accidentally dropped your glass of milk on the carpet at 6 years old.
This is what shapes us more than we want to admit, and this is what we need to take a hard look at if we want to “get what we want” in our relationships with women without harming them or ourselves in the process.
It’s one thing to come to the conclusion that “I just really want to ‘get better with women’ so I can have sex with a bunch of really hot girls without having to be in a relationship with any of them.” It’s much, much harder to look at yourself, your personal family history, your habits, your anxieties and fears, and ask yourself “WHY do I want to do this, and is this the best thing for me and the women I plan to have sex with?”
Remember Socrates telling us to “know thyself?” Few people even try anymore, and even fewer know what this actually entails.
It’s not enough to know WHAT you want. You have to know WHY you want it, and this means staring your past traumas and triumphs directly in the face and reflecting on how they’ve shaped your worldview and whether this is going to make you do something really crappy to someone else.
We should be very wary of acting on the WHAT without also deeply considering the WHY. It’s the only proper way to live in an increasingly narcissistic society where few people care to live as if anything mattered other than themselves.