Love or hate them, several powerful men (e.g. Stephen Colbert, Kanye West, Anderson Cooper, etc.) have made memorable public tributes of love to their mothers, giving them credit for the men they became. It got me thinking about my own mother and her role in shaping my character. Now that I’m a husband and father,…Read More
It’s not culture, stupid. It’s also not your ape genes driving you to have sex with everything in sight. Think harder. It’s that girl who made you so ashamed in middle school that you never got over it. It’s your mom never hugging you when you were growing up. It’s your dad smacking you in the…Read More
My girlfriend often gets mad at things that I find petty or that I think don’t really matter. Is that me taking her for granted or is that her being unreasonable? – Anonymous, age 17 First off, “taking her for granted” and “being unreasonable” are not opposite ends of a spectrum, so be careful how you’re…Read More
Circle the wagons, gentlemen. Not against an external threat, like the idiom implies, but from an internal one: Your beliefs about yourself and others, especially women. Those beliefs need to change if you’re ever going to find “success” with them (whatever the hell that means, and be very careful how you’ve defined that). You’re not…Read More
Date rape is rape. And rape is wrong. End of story.
Except that isn’t how things play out in the real world, where guys have somehow come to think of date rape as something wrong but fun — a bit like smoking marijuana.
Why are so many dudes cool with this? That’s the question I keep rolling around in my head — the question that I’ve been unable to answer since I first witnessed an attempted rape over a decade ago…Read More
I may be over-thinking this, but a girl who’s a kind-of friend said something to me recently that threw me off: “Would you ever wanna hang out?” This kinda sounds like a declaration of interest, but the thing is that I don’t really like her in that way. And the really annoying thing is that…Read More
In a previous post, I talked about how essential it is that we make peace with our parents. Here’s one way you could actually try doing it:
No matter what you do, It begins with compassion for them, which requires perspective-taking, and ends with reaching out to other adults who can give you what you needed but never got. Try answer these questions for yourself…Read More
If we want the ability to reach for our dreams and get along in harmony with others, it is essential that we come to terms with our parents. This is pretty hard because our parents present a unique contradiction for us. First off, we can’t choose them, unlike all the other people in our lives, like friends and romantic partners. Second, they represent the major force in our lives that controls our freedom, yet we also want their approval…Read More