No Girls Allowed… Yet.

Circle the wagons, gentlemen.

Not against an external threat, like the idiom implies, but from an internal one: Your beliefs about yourself and others, especially women. Those beliefs need to change if you’re ever going to find “success” with them (whatever the hell that means, and be very careful how you’ve defined that).

You’re not cool, bro. You’re confused as shit, bro, and that makes you scared, and the quicker you admit that, the better off you’ll be.

Self-improvement is the name of the game at this stage. Let the other guy hang around party after party until 3 am trying to hook up with whichever girl is DTF. Trust that the hard work you put in now to challenge your beliefs about yourself and others will pay off tenfold in five years and twenty times over by the time you’re 30.

But the big thing you’ve got to do right now is this:

Stop obsessing about girls.

Stop thinking about having sex with them every time you see them. Stop thinking about what they think of you. Stop your preoccupation with all the nasty sex you keep watching on Pornhub. This is not even close to reality, and the sooner you realize that, the better off everyone will be.

This is an exclusive club, this Young Men’s Nation. A global community of dudes making sure they help and don’t harm, that they push back against the blackened narrative creeping up on us out there from the bitter, lazy men and women who’d rather think in terms of us vs. them. For instance:

“Women are crazy.”
“Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.”
“The way to a woman’s heart is through your wallet.”
“Women are nothing but machines for producing children.”

You mad, bro?

Men who say things like that haven’t done enough work. Period. And when I say “work,” I don’t mean going to a job that pays you money. I mean digging out all the muck from your heart and mind so that you can be at peace with yourself and the world around you. Very few men get to that point. But the ones who do usually take the world by storm.

The more work you do now to clarify your dreams, strengthen your weaknesses and find peace with who you are, the less you’ll be attracted to girls who aren’t good for you, like ones who are supposedly “crazy” or who just want to get married to a guy for his wallet.

Yes, there are girls and women out there like that and they’ll never go away. They’re to be avoided at all costs, especially if they turn you on. But make no mistake: we must show them some amount of compassion for having failed at the virtually impossible task of fending off the insidious cultural messaging that brought them there. But showing them compassion doesn’t mean you have to give them your mental and emotional energy, especially if that energy is judgment, anger and bitterness. Just walk away and focus on clarifying what’s best for you.

But one last thing: Girls and women are desperately struggling with their identities in this modern, internet-fueled social media bonanza we call the year 2015… The amount of Instagram “models” cropping up all over the place is a testament to this. But you’re desperately struggling too, and don’t deny it. Don’t puff up your chest like an idiot and say “I’m cool, bro.”

You’re not cool, bro. You’re confused as shit, bro, and that makes you scared, and the quicker you admit that, the better off you’ll be.

To quote a sometimes whacko but ultimately very, very wise man named David Deida:

“A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn’t aware of his fear.”

Admit that you have no idea what you’re doing, and that this scares you on some level you can’t fully comprehend, and you will learn more in a week than you used to learn in a year. You’ll also magically start finding authentically great male peers who come out of the woodwork to join you in the battle against mediocrity and shittiness.

The less you think that its “girls vs. boys”, or worse, that women are out to rob you of your manhood, freedom and dignity, the better off you’ll be.

So, no girls allowed… yet. You have lots of work to do before you’re ready for them. A lot less suffering will take place in the world if you remember this.

The key is to discipline yourself to stop obsessing about girls, then go kick ass on everything else unfinished in your life, remembering all along that nothing’s ever finished. Come back after three months and tell us if life is not fundamentally better. We bet it will be.

About Dino Ironbody

Dino Ironbody is not his real name, but he is a real person... who's also a Cardinals fan from Boston. Don't ask, don't tell. His motto: Subtlety only gets you in the door. Truthstick!

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